Title: Missionary
Authors: so_jayded & heart_iswild
Rating: NC-17ish
Genre: Hancest
Notes: I was going through Google Docs and I found this. Forgot all about it. :(

( Zac Hanson was not gay. )

Title: Wildflower
Author: so_jayded
Word Count: 2500
Summary: It was easier than he thought.

( It was easier than he'd thought it would be, in the end. )

Title: Fuck Up
Authors: heart_iswild & so_jayded
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 15,000 (YES THAT'S RIGHT)
Genre: Hancest
Warnings: Self-injury, incest, blah blah blah
Notes: This is not chaptered. No, seriously, it's not. The post was just too big for LJ so we had to split it into two parts. :( That's never happened to me before.

( Zac was thrilled to be able to wake up... )

Title: Fuck Up
Authors: heart_iswild & so_jayded
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 15,000 (YES THAT'S RIGHT)
Genre: Hancest
Warnings: Self-injury, incest, blah blah blah
Notes: This is not chaptered. No, seriously, it's not. The post was just too big for LJ so we had to split it into two parts. :( That's never happened to me before.

( Taylor didn't really hear insults anymore. )

You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out :)

( iamsojayded whut )

Title: Empty Spaces [3/3]
Author: so_jayded
Word Count: 2176
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Taylor Hanson/Jeremy Wright
Notes: For tumbling_down, because I loff her.

( The rest of December passed in a blur. )

Title: London Is Burning
Author: so_jayded
Word Count: 2881
Rating: R
Pairing: Remus/Sirius/Ginny
Notes: For sirena_lupin.

( It started when it ended. )

Title: Empty Spaces [2/3]
Author: so_jayded
Word Count: 2156
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Taylor Hanson/Jeremy Wright
Notes: For tumbling_down, because I loff her.

( Zac stayed for two weeks )

Title: Empty Spaces [1/3]
Author: so_jayded
Word Count: 2373
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Taylor Hanson/Jeremy Wright
Notes: For tumbling_down, because I loff her.

( He realized it at dinner one night )

So, life is miserable when I'm not on the road. There's a surprise, right? I'm frustrated that I'm going to have to wait until the fall (which, with these silly boys, means winter) to see them again. Although it's better for me. I'm so tightly budgeted over the summer that I won't have a spare $200 to get airfare, never mind pay for gas, tickets, and all those other fun tour expenses.

I hate living so far away from the people I tour with. Granted, I live close to some of them - Kim is just down the street - but I really like traveling with Laura and Angela. It's always well planned out and endlessly fun.

I miss tour when I'm not on it. I miss the endless miles on the road, sleeping all cramped up in the back seat, eating shitty food from truck stops in the middle of the night. I miss running back and forth from lines to the car. I feel like I'm stuck, stopped in the middle of an adventure, and every fiber in my being is telling me to keep going, to walk somewhere, to run away from all this bullshit and responsibility but I can't because I have to live real life, at least for a little while longer.

Everyone is getting on my ass to go back to school. I don't want to. I tried that road and I didn't feel like I belonged at all. I felt like all I was doing was working towards something, that all I've been doing for my whole life was working towards something else and never once taking a second to live in the moment.

I took that chance last year. It started with three shows in a row. I got bit by it then, I got pushed in a direction that I didn't even know how to handle because I just felt like I had to keep running, keep moving forward down dark highways and through a thousand airports towards something indescribable. I can't reason it out. I can't figure out what's so satisfying about it, what part of it makes me feel alive.

I traveled 34,848 miles in thirteen months searching for something. I don't know what it is. I know I crave it more than anything in the world and I know, completely, that I won't be happy if I'm living my life any other way. Maybe one day I won't be following, chasing after a bus and a dream and a band that doesn't care if I live or die, but I know that I can't live my life the way I was living it before.

I feel like I'm stuck when I'm at home. I feel like I'm pressed against a wall, pushing back and trying to knock it down but I can't. I don't know if it's that something. I don't know if I can describe it with any of the lame metaphors Hanson came up with. I just know that when I'm here, sitting at work and waiting for the clock to turn over so I can get up and spend eight hours pouring coffee, I'm dissatisfied in a way I never was before.

Part of it is because I didn't know there was another way to live life before March of 2007. I had no idea that there was this whole other subculture of people who spend their lives chasing dreams. I wonder it now, every time we're on the highway or stopped at a rest stop for a quick break, if the people around us know that we exist. If they know that out there, there's hundreds of people who pointlessly chase a dream just for the sake of living in the moment, of not wasting one precious moment because life is too short to live working for the next great thing.

That's my problem with 'real life'. All through my childhood, I was being pushed to get ready for the next big thing. When I got to high school, it was get ready for college. When I got to college, it was get ready to work. When I finally get there, to a 'real' job and everything, it's what? Get ready to retire? When am I supposed to live?

I'm sorry. I can't waste my life that way. I can't spend my entire existence working forty hours a week to just advance myself to the next level of waiting.

I want to live.

When I say 'friends', I mean it. In the literal sense of I can call you up and say "oh hai!" I got tired of the long friends list of people I don't know. So I'm instating the same rules I have for my myspace:

I will friend you if:

* I know you
* You know me somehow
* You don't mind my crazy ramblings
* You are a member of Hanson, The Moffatts, or are Leonardo DiCaprio
* You are willing to give me $1 million.

I will not friend you if:

* You want to read my fanfic - ( playthingfic is the only thing I'm writing. Go friend that.)
* You want to read my fanfic that isn't Plaything (I'll make a community if I ever get around to writing on my own)
* You are a stranger that I have never met before
* You are a stranger that is unwilling to give me $1 million.
* You dislike Hanson to the point that I will have to shank you
* You are a douchebag (That includes you, Clarkey! *shakes fist*)

Let's all talk about this just for a minute.

Well, the week was looking better...


This is so pointless and it sucks. I'm just going to stay at home and mope for the next seven months. Greaaat.


ETA: and maybe I'm sitting out tour. I haven't really made up my mind yet.

I hate doing this. I hate it. Like, I abhor my life for having to do this, but I have absolutely no money this week to eat, so I'm going to ask my flist a favor. Once, and only once. I am so embarrassed that I have to do this, it's unbelievable.

I need at least $125. That seems like a lot, but anything would help because I just don't have it. I just don't. And I need to be able to eat. So what I'm doing is offering up my services as a writer.

I'm not too versatile in fandoms, but I do what I can. So what I'm asking for is help. If you don't want me to write anything, that's great. If you do, I'm asking for $1 per hundred words, in advance, to my paypal (rjaydetobin@gmail.com). I will for sure get it done before April 8th and it will be emailed to you and only you. I probably won't be able to finish anything longer than 2500 words, so keep that in mind, and I can only write for Harry Potter and Hanson.

I love you guys, and I would contribute to you if this was going on in your life, but I am so miserably broke this month that any dime you can donate would be appreciated more than anything.

Comments are screened, so please reply with your email address (or snail mail address if you want a printed copy), fandom, pairing, and number of words.

Thank you. So much.

So guys. So. I'm strapped for money for tour, and so I decided I'm going to sell my Wii. I've posted it in like six other places (Craigslist, facebook, etc...), but I want to post it here, too, in case anyone wants it.


I've used it it twice. Like, literally. I played Harry Potter once and The Sims once and that was it, so the thing is basically new. I still have the box. It also comes with two Wiimotes, two nunchucks, and five games (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess, The Sims 2 Castaway, WiiPlay (a pack of nine games, like ping pong and pool), and Pirates of the Caribbean). Also the Wiimotes come with rechargeable lithium-ion batteries and a charging stand. Am looking for $400, obo.

I'm totally willing to take under $400, but definitely not less than $250. The system itself is $250 and when you factor in the cost of all the games and the extra wiimote and all that, it's waaay over $400 worth of stuff. But that's that, you know?

Obviously shipping is not included in the price, there. I have no idea how much it costs to ship (although eBay says around $40). But, guys, totally. I am in need for money and it's getting a little ridiculous, honestly. :)


I'd so rather sell it to you guys.